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Hempstead, New York, United States
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[Page is still under construction. I have a job now.
Not as much time on my hands anymore]

Can confidence be taught?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

This is just something that I've been thinking about as of late. Speaking personally, I've always been known by my peers, family, and friends as someone who was outspoken with a vibrant personality. If you met me at a social event, you might not think that I was shy-- I am. 


My shy side tends to come out when I'm faced with a situation that can be intimidating. I'll give you an example. 

My last semester of college, I started interning for Nick Jr. Magazine. During the interview process, I was cool, calm and collected. I just knew that I was perfect for the job. Angela, the interviewer and future supervisor, obviously thought so too because I booked the job. 

The interviewing process for my internship was easy for me because at the time, I didn't view Angela as an authoritative figure. I didn't have the job and she wasn't my "boss." It was kind of easy for me to just answer the questions and be on my way. That all changed the moment I got to my desk on the first day! 


When I'd actually started interning, that's when all the shyness kicked in. I wouldn't say that I wasn't confident that I could do the job and do it well, it was more like-- well damn, I don't know these people. What if they hate me? What if they think I suck? What if I mess up?

I let those things get to me and as a result, I held back a lot of the confidence and spunk that people tend to see in me outside of the work place.

I thought it was just a one time thing, but i noticed that it became a pattern when dealing with authoritative figures or people that I felt that I had to impress.

I often wonder if  I'll always be this way or can this kind of confidence be "taught?" At the end of the day, dimming my light will never allow me to truly shine. I've got to get over this hurdle one way or another even if I have to fake it until I make it. lol. 

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